I was feeling great and knew that if it were possible, Matt and I wanted another child. I talked it over with Dr. Cheng, my amazing rheumy, and she did some blood tests and said she had my blessing to have another child. Pretty much, if I wanted to be a mom again I should try now, because its only going to get harder as a get older, and I had been flare free for almost a year. I made an appointment with Dr. Green, my OB. I asked him if he were willing to take on such a high risk pregnancy like mine, he spent an hour in the office with me, going over all the risks...the very real, very scary risks. I couldn't hold back my tears, I cried when he said things like, "miscarriage", "late-term miscarriage", "blood clots", and "death, although I have never lost a patient yet". Holy crap!
I went home that night, cried, and discussed everything with Matt. We knew the risks, but at the same time what if I didn't get HELLP again this time around? They say its a rare occurrence anyways, so there was a chance I could have a fine, normal pregnancy. We decided that if we didn't try we would never know, and I would hate to grow old wondering if it were possible. If something bad were to happen, then we would know it wasn't meant to be. I was scared but excited. 1 month later we were pregnant!
I was nervous about the first trimester just because I know a lot of people suffering from antiphospholid syndrome have a higher chance of miscarriage. I saw a perinatologist who put me on 40mg Lovenox blood thinner injections daily, and I continued taking my 400 mg plaquenil, so far pregnancy was great. At 17 weeks pregnant, they saw I also had placenta previa, so decided to take me out of work and put me on short term disability, especially because I was also having major sciatic pain.
So I grew and grew... went to doctors appointments at least weekly. I was seeing my OB, rheumy, perinatologist, and a fetal cardiologist to check the developing baby for signs of a heart block. Ya just another thing to add on the list. Apparently I am positive for the Sjorgen's antibody which can cause heart problems in a baby. I am trying to stay positive and be happy but I had a major breakdown. Everyone says things like, "Wow Nicole, you are such a strong person, I don't know how you do it", well the truth is, I don't know how I do it either, but ya know, I have no other choice, this is my life, these are the cards I was dealt.
So far so good, baby looks healthy, I am semi- healthy, my goal is to get past 31 weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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